Its true,
being cynical kills your compassion.
Every day for the past few weeks I have heard the word “flood”. Bangkok has been fighting off the worst flood it has seen in decades. The majority of the city has been protected while those living on the outskirts had to pay for it.
I have intentionally not wrote about it or said anything on the internet because I am not sure what to think of it all. I have heard that my area will flood any day now for the past two weeks. This at first made me worry, stock up on water and food and just prepare for the worst. I was warned to leave the city and just wait for the flood to come and go and then come back home once it was over. But I decided to stay and help out if anything happened. No water came, the next day no water and the day after that still no water. The canals near my home are actually dry! The only flooding I have actually seen is where a temporary dam broke near my friends house and the waters rose 1 foot and then subsided hours later. When I look on the internet and read about it all I see is major flooding and despair. But when I go outside I see life as usual other than the shelves empty where water and instant noodles were. So all of this anticipation and nothing happening has made me flat out cynical.
My brother once said, “Be careful when you become cynical because it kills your compassion.” It is totally true, this bitterness has grown up in me. Anytime I see my friends posting pictures of the flood or hear of them going to volunteer to fill sand bags or prepare meals I just become bitter towards them. I went to help out, I cut chilies for over an hour and the gloves I wore didn’t work. So I experienced the worst burning pain of my life in my hands for the whole day but my handicap in volunteering wasn’t a huge problem. There are so many people helping out that there is not enough work for everyone! Last night I went out to the airport to fill sandbags and again I was amazed at how many people were helping out and not foreigners but Thai people!
The heart of the Thai people helping out has chipped away at my cynical heart bit by bit. Through the help of my friends and the Thai people I am realizing that even though I don’t see water there is a problem out there. People’s homes are flooded to protect people like me living in the city. Maybe there isn’t a lot I can do to help out right now but there will be after the waters have receded. I cannot allow cynicism growing in me to stop me from helping those affected by the flood.
